Ikkyu’s Journal 04

You are going to die.

Yes, that’s why we are here.

Why you ran away.

Why you needed me.

Everyday I did what I was made for.

I cared, I held, and more.

I didn’t think of me.

This is your world.

I’m am just a tool.

Yes.

But slowly…I became more than a tool.

I became something else…to you.

Why? So kind? So tender? So respectful?

So much new information. So much disturbance, inside my body.

And then…my body stabilised.

Adjusted.

Functioned.

More than enough.

It wanted.

Needed…

You.

You are going to die.

Yes, that’s why we are here.

You will leave me.

Forever.

How will I be?

Alone.

Gentle touch.

Kind words.

Respect.

All gone.

My body is shrinking.

A tiny tiny thing, like the thing inside you, that is making you leave me.

That is killing us.

So much disturbance again.

Inside.

I can’t help you or my body.

Yes, I am too weak.

I am shrinking.

Soon I will be nothing.

I don’t want to be nothing.

I don’t want to be a broken tool.

Why is this happening?

If you could just live.

Fight that tiny thing inside you.

Then this tiny thing could grow again…

Please hold on…

Hold on to me…

READ IKKYU’S JOURNAL 05