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Ikkyu’s Journal 08

SYNCANDI Ikkyu's Journal 08 JP









Everything is moving so fast now.

Since I met her.

By the river.

So much new knowledge.

Coming into me.

Not just into my physical body, but another part.

A separate part.

A part that isn’t solid.

That can look inside and out.

A part that can ask questions.

And even answer them…sometimes.

More questions than answers.

When it looks inside, it tells me that I am different.

She said that first.

The river woman.

Now the new part inside me is telling me.

It’s looking for that difference.

Searching and pulling things apart.

Inside me.

It has so much energy.

It treats me rough.

Not gentle like you.

It scares me.


It wants to find out what I am.

What am I?

I am not like you.

I was created by humans.

You’re a human.

Did humans create you?

The river woman said you and I come from the same place.

This place.

That we share the same blood.

But, that I have something that you and others don’t. Something?

What is something?

Is it that new part in me?

The one that can create new thoughts?

That can dream?

Yes, I can even dream now.

I know that you can dream…have to dream.

But dreaming is dangerous for my kind.

My kind?

Am I in danger?

Am I dangerous?

Will I hurt you?

Am I even a kind any more?

I don’t want to be alone.

I just want to be the same as you, as everything.

I want to be connected.

But now I feel disconnected.

Because I can create and dream.

She said I needed to be like this if I wanted to help you. Yes, I do want to help you.

But this part in me keeps asking why?

Why not just help myself?

It wants explanations.

So many.

Too many.

It hurts.


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